Tips to finding your confidence

I love this topic! It often feels like it takes an eternity to find confidence and actually feel confident in our every day lives. Men and women seem to spend most of their lives seeking and failing to find confidence. You don't need to be the smartest or prettiest or most athletic to carry confidence. You know one or two in your life right now, don't you? They’re not arrogant. They’re the ones who make you want to be around them.

We need to be building each other up. We have enough in our lives to tear us down if we allow it. The idea here is not to let it. We aren't ever going to be great at everything, nor should we pretend to be. Human beings aren't made for that. We all come with our own little quirks that we often find odd in ourselves, but don't even notice in others. These quirks can turn into fears and anxiety that conquers us instead of conquering "it". This can further turn into self hatred, depression, tumultuous relationships and a continuous downward spiral.

We continue to ask ourselves things such as why can't I be good at corporate presentations like Suzie is? If I was smarter, I'd be able to figure out this problem like Jack always does. Why can't I be smarter? Why can’t I be thinner? Why can't, why can't, why can't..... 

Instead of the focus on the negative and the things we feel we are lacking, why not start changing up the questions we are asking ourselves.

What do those confident people have in their lives that I don't? I want that life. What am I missing? Some may feel they will have to search hard, but if you look hard enough you find plenty of answers as to what you have been blessed with. Is it your strong family relationships, your career, your health? What ARE you good at? What IS working in your life? It's a whole different ballgame when you change the angle of your thinking. If every trade and talent were just handed to you, life would be pretty boring wouldn't it? 
A few things to think about that confident people usually have:

* They live their purpose and stick to their authentic self. They aren't spending time trying to figure out who everyone else wants them to be. They stand firm in who they are and are satisfied with being just that.
* They spend time alone and feel ok doing so. Know anyone who can't go to the mall by themselves or the thought of going out in public and being seen alone terrifies them? Practice spending enjoyable time on your own listening to music, going out to eat, shopping, going to a movie.
* They take nothing (or very little) personally. Who is stuck on this one? Ok, ok this can be a tough one. What's the song, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I love this, actually! People tend to have more gratitude when then have worked hard for something or on something.
*It's a mindset. Act first if you need to and the confident thoughts will come second. In essence, fake it till you make it. Sometimes we need to improve the confident behavior first and the brain will begin to follow.
*Learn to laugh at yourself. I know there are busy bees out there who like to work hard on something and are very serious about what they are doing and who they are impacting. I'm with you! I'm one of them! If I can't laugh at myself when I screw up though, I'm in for a long, tough road.